Sour Blood
by AVERAGEJACK105
Summary: The story of mythical beings and other sturff.


Hello, My name is Jack. Some people belive in the mythic monster known as the "Vampire", However many do not. The people who do believe in the blood suckling nightmares, think the vampire's greatest enemy are humans. These people are wrong. For an Vampires mightiest foe is of course, The "Pirate". You may ask me, "But Jack, Whats so bad about a pirate"  
And i will answer, Pirates are not normal humans young child, Pirates have there own blood type,  
which happens to be poisenous. Then you will ask in a whiny voice"Why do pirates have a diffrent blood type than humans?" And i will answer in a low cool voice "Because they are not from earth"  
i'm guessing you are quite confuzzed right now so heres a lil background info into the pirates.

In the begging of time There was a huge BOOM(the scientist lie, its not a bang, but a BOOM) and A planet was made. This planet was a sort of Banana shape. Anywhay, on both sides of the banana planet were fortress's one in which the vampires lived and one in which pirates lived. For fourteen and a half years the vampires and pirates raged war on the banana planet until the planet was only dust and a few vampires and pirates. But one day there was another huge BOOM and another planet was made. "Earth" this tiny planet had little humans living all over it, tottally oblivious to the vampires and pirates.

Another fourteen and a half years went by, and the banana planet was crumbling away, for exactly 2 months the vampires and pirates stopped fighting to build spaceships to migrate to earth. when they got to earth they continued to fight but the did it only in darkness, so the humans would never find out. Until several hundreds of years later. In Italy the pirate formaly known as John, and the vampire formaly known as Jess were outcast from the two races.  
They had a dying love for each other, and in the acient scrolls it is forbidden to live with a member of the other two races. Anywhay one day, John and Jess really felt the lurv and decided it was time to show it, the both laid naked on the floor and made lurv to each other though the night. I won't go into details but i'm sure my good friend "Charles"  
can make a long story about how they made compasionate love seemso thats her specialty.

And before anyone knew, vampiarate was born. John and Jess kept the obomination a secret for many a year, until the young vampirate became curious. John and Jess were worried that there whole family would get tortured if they didnt do somthing so, John injected Himself, Wife and the young child with a very strange liquid which tasted like gravy. There child though didnt like the idea of dying so he switched his poison with gravy. Needless to say a few hours went by, and The young vampirate's parents had died, he on the other was still alive. He left Italy forever in search of a paradise called Britain.

20 years went by, The young child had grown into a man (well a vampirate man) and was still in search of Britain. He asked an old lady which way britain was and she replied by kicking him in the balls. A few years later and the vampirate was so close to Britain he could taste it but as he was walking along he noticed a few men following him. "Hello" he shouted to them. they were whispering to one another and a youngish looking man aprouched the vampirate. "Are you the one they call Andrew?". asked the young man. "I don't know" replied the vampirate. "I havent got a name". "Come with us" Said another man "We'll give you food and shizz".;  
"Okay" said the vampirate.

The men took the vampirate to a small, dark alleyway. "Ok" said the older man. "ARE YOU THE OBOMINATION!?" he asked in an aggresive tone. the other men pinned down the vampirate. "Yes" said the vampirate who we'll call andy from now on.  
"Okay andy, we've been looking for you" said the older man.  
"What are you guys?" asked andy.  
"WE ARE VAMPIRES" answered the older vampire "MWHAHAHAHAHHA". Andy saw a dark shadow appear from behind the vampires. "Get your hands off Andy" said the mysterius stranger. "Or I will kill you".;  
Suddenly the dark figure behind the vampires striked all the vampire at the same time with some kind of...HOOK The strange figure picked up andy and fled from the vampires.

When they finaly stopped running, Andy got a look at the man who had just saved him. He was quite tall, with long black hair,  
a red coat, a hook instead of his left hand and a peg leg. "Who and what are you" Asked andy.  
"Hello andy, I'm Jeff and i'm a pirate"Replied Jeff "How do you run so fast with that peg leg?" Asked andy.  
"Shhh, Don't point out obvious mistakes the writer made in this book."said Jeff.  
"So uhhrm...now what do we do?" Asked Andy.  
"You must be tired lets sleep" answered Jeff. "And don't worry, I wont kill you in your sleep..MWHAHAHAH"  
"OOOOkay then" said Andy as he backed away from the wierd pirate.


End file.
